Sailing in the Opposite Direction

I was watching the Band of Brothers marathon on the History Channel the other day, and I saw a scene that really struck me.  The soldiers, on their way to England, boarded a troop ship in New York and sailed out of the harbor and past the Statue of Liberty.  I hadn’t seen that episode in some time, so I had forgotten about this scene.  Many of their parents or grandparents had sailed in the opposite direction, into the harbor, and past the same statue just a few years earlier.  They came to America in search of a better life, and now their children and grandchildren were leaving, sailing past the statue in the opposite direction in order to liberate and defend the very countries they had fled.  All four of my grandfather’s grandparents came from Poland, a country that had been overrun by the Nazis, the Soviets, and the Nazis again.  When we watch movies like Saving Private Ryan, and hear and read about The Greatest Generation, we take pride in their service to America.  It struck me today that in their minds there may have been something deeper and more personal about their service.  Yes, they were Americans first and foremost, but for those from immigrant families the treatment their countries of heritage had received during the war may have provided some extra motivation.  My mother always tells me that her mother never forgave Roosevelt for allowing Poland to be occupied by the Soviets after the war.  While we still take pride in our heritage today, it was much more personal to those generations.

Things I Like #26: Having an Entire Exit Row to Myself

It was glorious.  On my flight from MSP to BDL I was assigned the middle seat in row 10.  At first I was not sure this would be good, since I usually don’t enjoy the middle seat… but an exit row means extra leg room so that was at least a plus.  Then, I guess because of flight delays and cancellations the people on either side of me did not show up… so I had the entire row to myself!   I was able to relax with plenty of leg and arm room on either side and enjoyed quite a nice nap during my flight.  Being the only person in an exit row rocks.

Changing Holiday Celebrations

My holiday celebrations have changed a lot since I was younger.

We used to go down to Connecticut every Christmas (or “Christ-moose” as my mom says her grandparents from Poland always pronounced it)Eve for Wigilia (our family pronounces it “vee-lee-ah”), the Polish Christmas supper, with my mother’s family.  Our grandparents would lay out tons of food and over the course of the night three generations of Szymaszeks and Kosienskis would stop by and enjoy food and family.  I would always fill my plate with three things: pierogi, kielbasa, and my grandmother’s babka bread (a family recipe passed down from Poland).  Traditionally I don’t think we were supposed to eat meat, but boy and I glad we did.  Yum.  There was always a large crowd because my grandmother had 12 brothers and sisters.  Her brother Bobby would always lead us in the breaking of the Christmas wafer.  We all take pieces of the special wafer (it needed to be blessed by a priest) and wished each other health, happiness, etc. for the coming year.  Each time you wish something to someone you take a little piece of their wafer.  We’d “party” (I think they used to party a bit more hardy before us grandkids were around if you know what I mean) late into the night, at which point we’d head home – my brother and I always falling asleep quickly on the hour car ride home.

After Christmas Day we would make the drive down to Pennsylvania to see my father’s family.  We combined celebrations of Christmas and New Years at their house.  The celebrations were markedly different from the ones in Connecticut, but just as enjoyable.  My father’s family was only my father, his brother, and their parents, so it was a much smaller affair.  I remember my grandfather always used to hide a pickle ornament someplace in their Christmas tree that we had to find.  Since we always spent a few days there, it wasn’t so much of a celebration as it was a chance to catch up and hang out with my grandparents.  I loved it.  I also remember my grandfather always had an air horn that he would blast at midnight on New Years.  None of you knew him, but I can’t help but smile and laugh when I think about that.  It was so typical.  My brother and I always got to stay up late and watch David Letterman that night with the adults and we loved that too.

But things, no matter how great they are, always seem to change and evolve over time.  As family members began to die, the celebrations in Connecticut started to get smaller and more intimate – I actually started to know everyone who was there – and my mom and her siblings and their spouses began to step in and make the food after my grandmother passed away.  The days in Pennsylvania got even more laid back without the energy and enthusiasm of my grandmother.  You could really tell my grandfather missed her.  Then we stopped going altogether when he passed away.  With only two of the 13 kids left alive in Connecticut, and my grandfather in a nursing home, we eventually even stopped having Wigilia.  We had what I think will be the final one in Connecticut in the winter of 2006 to mark the family’s 100th Christmas in America.  But it was called together at the last second once I made the family aware of that fact.  Now I spend Christmas eve at home with my mom, dad, and my brother.  It’s really nice.  It’s not what we grew up with, but maybe that makes me appreciate the family time even more.

This time of year has become more a time for reflection, a time for remembering those no longer with us, and a time for being thankful for those still with us.  It’s still a celebration, but the mood is definitely more subdued.  I think it’s likely that this comes from growing up and getting more mature in how I look at the world, but I also think it will come in cycles.  My cousins are starting families of their own now, and soon we’ll have a few little ones running around and getting excited and bringing the party back with their youth and lack of life experiences.  Maybe it takes three generations to party.  Maybe the rest of us get need to caught up in their energy and youthful ignorance.  I hope so.  I love spending time with my family – no matter where we are or what we are doing it is the perfect way to spend the holidays.  But it sure would be nice to get back into the habit of partying with our larger family.

Things I Like #25: Sunsets

Pretty.  Soothing.  Serene.  Romantic.  Inspiring.  Powerful.  My favorite time to think and reflect.  Sunsets are amazing.  Words can’t really do sunsets justice, so I’ll leave you with these pictures.   I took them while my family was camping at the beach on Ocracoke Island, North Carolina last summer:

Family History Posts to Start Soon

During one of the many conversations I had with Ellen last week, be started talking about what people can identify with, in terms of culture, heritage, etc.  The more you know about your heritage and cultural identity, the more you can identify with it, and the more you can be proud of it and the more you can appreciate other peoples’ identities.  I always had a desire to learn more about my heritage, and in the summer of 2005 I began researching my family’s history.  I had no idea what I was getting myself into.  Three and half years later I’m still researching – it truly is a life-long project.  But I’ve compiled a tremendous amount of information.  As I’ve learned about my ancestors’ lives I’ve become more aware of my identity and more proud of my heritage.  Everyone’s story is unique.  My brother and I are the only people on the planet that share the same family history.  This research has been one of the most rewarding things I’ve ever done, and the original reason for starting a blog was to have a place to share what I’ve found with my family and with all of you.  In light of the conversations from last week, I’ve decided to finally get my act together and start posting what I’ve found over the course of my research.  I’m sharing this stuff because it’s literally the story of who I am.  My brother and I are the reflection of the collective experiences and values that have been passed down through time.  No person and no family is perfect, but I’m proud of my family, our history, and our story.

Hopefully seeing the sort of information I’ve found will make you curious enough to ask a parent or grandparent about your own story.  Hopefully knowing more about your own story will help you become more aware and proud of your identity and help you to appreciate the identities of those around you.

There are going to be several different kinds of posts I’ll use to share this information.  Some will be surname profiles… basic information about the different families that make up the branches of my family tree.  Some will be profiles of specific ancestors.  Some will be transcriptions of historical documents that I’ve found.  Some will be descriptions of the places my family has lived.  Some will discuss historical events that have influenced my family’s history.  Undoubtedly there will be others as well.

I hope you guys find this at least a little bit interesting!

Congratulations to Lech Poznan!

Lech Poznan became the first Polish football club to advance past the group stage of the UEFA Cup when they defeated Feyenoord 1-0 yesterday.  Woot!  I’m not a Lech supporter, but as a Polish supporter I’m glad to see teams from the country succeed.

Best Friends

I started thinking yesterday about the phrase “best friend.”

First of all, what does “best friend” mean?  Who is your best friend?  Is it the person you would go to first in a time of need?  The person you want to celebrate successes with first?  The person who knows you best?  The person you trust the most?  Does a best friend have to be all of those?  If someone calls you their best friend, do you have to call them your best friend?  If you don’t, are you really their best friend?  Can you have more than one best friend?  I don’t know the answers to these questions, but they were certainly thought provoking and got me looking at my own friends.

Do I have a “best friend?”  I have some great friends.  I have a lot of good friends, but I’m not sure I have a BEST friend.  If you had asked me five or six years ago I would have immediately responded yes and been able to point to them.  But something happened in between then and now… I moved.  I think my inability to point to one of my friends as my “best friend” is due to the fact that no one I see on a regular basis has known me for more than 5 years.  In fact, most of them have known me for less than 2 years.  It is the result of moving 1800 miles from where I grew up and literally starting a new life.  I see my best friends from home maybe once or twice a year.  Can I still call them best friends?  This is not meant to slight any of my friends out here.  Those of you who mean the most to be know who you are and how much you mean to me.  I have amazing amazing friends and I can’t imagine my life without you guys.  If I had grown up with some of you, maybe we would be “best friends”.  But I’m still not sure I have a best friend, at home or out here.  I am grateful to those of you that have been willing to open yourselves up to me and let me into your lives, even willing to call me a friend.  I guess for me having lots of friends and a few really close and great friends is perfect.  Does one even need to have a best friend?  Another question I’m not sure I have an answer to…

…because the more I thought about this, I realized that there is someone that I would point to and say “THAT is my best friend.”  Since I’m a political hack and a history nerd and a sports junky, I like to think of things in terms of politics and history and sports.  In an episode of the West Wing President Bartlett is describing to someone how they should pick their chief of staff, and basically says to pick the person who you trust the most and means the most to you, who will never leave your side.  Who would my chief of staff be?  If I were a general, who would I want to be there with me during the heat of battle?  If I were the GM of a baseball team, who would I want to be my assistant GM, helping me make every decision?  I know there are other factors in those situations, but generically, who would I want to have by my side?  With my job, life, reputation, etc. on the line, who would I choose?

The answer to those questions would be my brother.  I was really lucky with the brother that I got.  He’s great, and we get along amazingly well.  I trust him and I value his opinion.  Yes, we give each other a lot of crap as all siblings do, but when push comes to shove I know he’s got my back and has my best interest in mind.  Calling my brother as my best friend probably helps to explain why I put such an importance on family – they are truly the best friends I have.  Calling my brother my best friend also gives me an incredible stability to adapt to new places and new situations.  I know he’ll always be there, so when I move to a new place I can make my small circle of great friends and my larger circle of good friends.  And that is very nice.  So maybe we do all have a best friend.

But can you really call your brother your best friend?  Hm.  Another question I’m not sure if I have the answer to.  I do, so I guess you can.  Maybe this whole thing is sort of like girlfriend vs. girlfriend.  I have friends that are girls, making each of them a girlfriend, while at the same time not having a girlfriend.  I just checked Merriam-Webster online and it gave two definitions for the word “girlfriend”: 1) a female friend… 2) a frequent or regular female companion in a romantic or sexual relationship.  Same word, two drastically different meanings (I can’t even begin count the number of times that I’ve described someone as “my girlfriend” or “one of my girlfriends”… using definition #1 in my head, and had people think I was using definition #2…)  Maybe “best friend” is the same way.  I know who my best friends are, but maybe none of them are my best friend.  Hm.  This is certainly interesting thing to think about.

Things I Like #24: Deep Talks (and gchats) With Ellen

I thoroughly enjoy deep conversations with Ellen.  We’ve had them since we met each other last year (feels like longer than that, no?):  I remember on the long car ride back from the casino, before we really knew each other, we got into a discussion of everything under the sun, including religion and god.  Heavy stuff.  Last week we had a lot of deep talks on gchat and it was great!  Literally hours of opinions and questions and issues.  Awesome.  Ellen is sharp, intelligent, and passionate – and that makes for a great conversations!  Plus, we each studied different fields in college, so we have different perspectives and ways of analyzing  issues.

Any way you look at it, talks with Ellen are great.

Things I Like #23: Randomly Running Into Friends

Randomly running into a friend can really make a day.  If you’re having a good day, it can make it even better.  If you’re having a bad day, it can turn it around.  And if it happens in the morning, it can set a positive tone for the rest of the day.

Case in point: today.  I was heading to a briefing this morning, so I had to take the 63 bus to downtown Saint Paul, instead of my normal 144 bus to the U.  Down Grand a little ways Claire got on the bus on her way to work.  Random!  Also random considering we saw each other at the MARC last night but neither was sure if it was really the other.  We chatted for a bit until she got off downtown at her stop.  What a great start to the day!

So make sure you keep your eyes and ears open!  You never know when you might randomly run into a friend.  It might just make your day.

A Wonderful Week Comes To An End…

…and a more wonderful week begins?

This past week was wonderful.  It began with a Crystal Palace thumping of Southampton and never looked back.  There was an SPN meeting, a workshop with a youth program at Wilder, great gchats with Ellen, a YCC policy meeting, lunch following the meeting with Rachael-Em-Ellen, pay day on Friday, a second Palace win of the week on Saturday morning, and then the highlight of the week – our holiday party.  I love my friends, and many of my closest ones showed up Saturday night and I loved it.  The highlight of the party, with apologies to everyone else, was the (not-so) surprise visit from Tre!  I sort of knew she was coming (I’m not THAT oblivious, Tre…) but I did not want to get hopes up in case something didn’t work out, as Iowa is quite far away.  But she came!  Tre is AWEsome – you only have to look at what high demand she was in this weekend to see that, and I’ve really missed not having her around and not being able to stop by McNamara on my way home and see her, so I was thrilled when she showed up.  I know she had a lot going and and I’m grateful she took some time to come and hang out with us.  Hopefully she’ll be back before too long.  But there was so much amazingness at the party.  Wonderful sweaters.  Eggnog that could knock out a horse just from taking a whiff of it.  Pretty decorations.  College friends.  Work friends.  Friends met through friends.  Cookies.  Cheesecake.  Chex mix.  Punch.  Christmas music.  Pictures.  It was a good night, and a great way to cap off a great week.  The only thing that could have made this week better would have been the Amazing Race finale being this week instead of last week, but hey, you can’t have it all.

So now it’s Monday and a new week begins.  Who knows, this week might be even better than last week.  It certainly has the potential.  That’s what keeps getting me up every day.  That’s what gives me hope and excitement every single day.  Every day could be better than yesterday, every week could be better than last week, every month could be better than last month, every year could be better than last year.  I hope you all can feel that way too.  The future is a great unknown – a blank slate filled with the potential to be wonderful and awesome and amazing.  Exciting, isn’t it?

And next week I head home for the holidays.  Things are good in the world of the Mess.